For a good portion of my life I have battled anxious thoughts and fearful forebodings. I know the fear is not from God. He has given me victory in so many areas, many dealing with fear and anxiety…and yet, the thoughts persist.
I bring them before God whenever I become aware of them. As my mind starts to race or my body becomes tense, I start to pay attention to what is rolling around in my brain. Am I worrying over my children or other family members? Over bills? Are my thoughts centered on work issues? Sometimes it’s just an undefinable feeling of unease or anxiety.
When I need extra support I ask my husband to pray with me and cover me, or I text friends asking for prayer and help. God is always faithful to come to my rescue and bless me with His peace…it just takes me a while to receive it at times.
I have also battled feelings of hopelessness, which I think are some of the hardest thoughts to overcome. Without hope, we are lost. It steals all joy and purpose to life. I can become overwhelmed thinking that things will never change…that I will remain in my state of barely-staying-on-top-of-life for the rest of my days…
That’s what I’ve been dealing with on & off for the past year. Then this morning I saw a delivery truck drive past me for a company I interviewed with 3-4 years ago. I am so thankful that I did not get that job! That caused me to remember another company I interviewed with around the same time, and I again was thankful that God didn’t open that door either. I ended up working for a temp agency that lead me to the very good job I have now.
That little reminder, just at the right time, helped snap me out of the funk that was threatening to overtake my thoughts.
I spoke out, “Thank you Father, for keeping me from those jobs. Thank you for blessing me with the job I have now. Forgive me for losing hope because I have been putting my hope in the wrong things…in worldly pursuits and accomplishments. My hope is in YOU!”
For the rest of my drive to work I thanked Him for everything I am grateful for, with the greatest thanks reserved for Jesus, who died for me.
When I got settled at my desk, I turned the page on the daily encouragement calendar I have there, and saw this:
God is so wonderful to confirm His leading. I so needed this today ❤ My hope is in you Father!
Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful. ~ Hebrews 10:23