I need to get this off my chest.
I can’t do it all.
I HATE to multi-task. It’s a myth and a lie. I like to focus on something until it’s done and then move on to the next thing.
Sometimes I hate people. Interaction with other humans is draining at times because, let’s face it–they are weak, too.
Lord have mercy…I need you so much!
I can’t love, help, be kind, compassionate, merciful or forgiving to anyone in my own strength.
I get tempted by different things at different times.
Sometimes I want to yell. Sometimes I want to flip people off. Sometimes I want a drink…or a doughnut…or several drinks and doughnuts…
But I don’t drink alcohol because it’s not good for my health- physical, mental or otherwise.
And I can’t (or shouldn’t) eat doughnuts either. My body doesn’t process wheat or gluten well. Besides that, I want to be healthy and svelte and doughnuts don’t fit in with that plan.
I’m not svelte at the moment and that makes me mad. At myself.
I love God. He’s awesome.
I’m amazed that He loves me or even bothers with me at all because I see me- the real me- and it’s not pretty.
I spend a lot of time praying due to: ALL OF THE ABOVE.
I need forgiveness and mercy.
I love it.
I can’t live without it.
I want to be forgiving and merciful to other people because I know how wonderful it feels to receive it. But without God’s grace, it doesn’t happen on my end, because…
But when He fills me with His goodness, His ability and His grace, the joy I feel is overwhelming. His peace comes in like a flood, relieving the pressure, the stress and the anger.
He soothes my soul.
I go to Him with all my weaknesses and all my shortcomings. I give Him the burdens that threaten to crush me under their oppressive weight and I leave them at the foot of His throne…which, by the way, also requires grace.
Fill me again, Lord! Thank you for allowing me to be real with you…and weak…because in my weakness Your strength shines through.
I love you, Lord.
I love you, Father.
Thank you Holy Spirit for being my constant help and guide.
“Inasmuch then as we have a great High Priest Who has [already] ascended and passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession [of faith in Him].
For we do not have a High Priest Who is unable to understand and sympathize and have a shared feeling with our weaknesses and infirmities and liability to the assaults of temptation, but One Who has been tempted in every respect as we are, yet without sinning.
Let us then fearlessly and confidently and boldly draw near to the throne of grace (the throne of God’s unmerited favor to us sinners), that we may receive mercy [for our failures] and find grace to help in good time for every need [appropriate help and well-timed help, coming just when we need it].”
Hebrews 4:14-16 Amplified Bible